Kids Wreck Everything.
One time I had someone refer to me as a
"wrecker”.
For real! This person read me a poem about builders and wreckers, and it was clear that I was being portrayed as the wrecker.
At first, I was livid.
Like, what gives you the right to tell me I’m a “wrecker”?!! What have I ever “wrecked” for you?! But as I was processing this statement, and the situation I found myself in, as I came to the conclusion about why this person labeled me as a “wrecker” I realized this made me fill with EUPHORIA and I’ll tell you why.
The reason (and I’m assuming here) this individual was claiming I was a wrecker is because…
I was always challenging what was happening in childcare and pushing for more.
I wanted higher quality, more training, more teamwork, more accountability, I just wanted MORE - is that wrong?
In my personal opinion you can never aim too high in early childhood. I was looking to solve every problem that came my way. Not only solve but improve and make change that would allow for optimal learning, engagement, teaching, community, and you guessed it, CONNECTION.
While I am a proud wrecker, I am also an astounding builder. Whatever I “wreck” I work hard to put back together, and I learn a ton along the way.
It is how I have gotten to where I am today.
Builders and wreckers have a specific skill set - they also live in a constant state of innovation, experimentation, exploration and curiosity - you literally walk around with ideas of how you can improve or streamline things around you. Builders and wreckers can see a project from the beginning and where they want to be in the end. They are highly adaptable as they can change as needed throughout the project. They are innovative problem solvers. They are creative creatures who always push the boundaries searching for more.
Builders AND Wreckers enjoy the process - building up and tearing down.
Why?
They know that in order to achieve greatness you have to be willing to put yourself out there,
listen to others, have a few setbacks, only to become stronger than ever.
(Hmmm those sound like some pretty great, and necessary, skills that might help kids learn and become incredible human beings…)
How does this apply to children and parenting?
Let’s just put it out there - kids wreck things all the time.
They wreck our carefully planned schedules and routines. They wreck our house. They wreck our clothes. They wreck our wallets. They wreck our sleep. They wreck our emotions. They wreck our diets.
Wrecking is their specialty.
Wrecking is what allows us to learn how to rebuild, redo, retry, and become skilled and successful.
Those people dubbed “the world’s greatest” didn’t get that way from day one. They learned how to be the world’s greatest. But we’re not shooting for world’s greatest, although it might be fun to try.
Wreckers can become the world’s greatest builders when they have someone who consistently helps them along the pathway of life. They need a safe person to go to when “wrecking” takes place to help co-regulate, nurture, direct and give support. If kids are the wreckers, parents and other caregivers, are the construction crew.
We work hand in hand to build a solid foundation (trusting and secure attachments), a framework (that is flexible, adaptable and strong), electric circuitry (the ability to connect body, brain, needs and actions), and the surrounding’s that foster what is being built (the world outside our own safety circle - the communities we are part of). This is complete connection and when you exist within it everyone thrives.
Wrecker + Builder = Well Rounded Human Being
(At least we think so)
May you wreck the heck out of parenting! And build the world’s greatest kid :)
Stay Connected,
Jerica